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Description
Bundle: Custom 4 Lines Text + PawPatch Track Dog Harness (Large)Give your dog the last wordfour times over. The PawPatch Track Dog Harness + Custom Text Patch Bundle is for dog owners who have something to say (and want their pup to say it for them). Whether its I Only Bark on Weekends or Emotional Support Snack Thief, this combo lets your mutt strut their personalityand your sense of humor. Whats in the bundle: Custom 4 Lines Text Patch Say it loud, say it proudyour patch, your words. Choose from a variety of
Give your dog the last word—four times over.
The PawPatch Track Dog Harness + Custom Text Patch Bundle is for dog owners who have something to say (and want their pup to say it for them). Whether it’s “I Only Bark on Weekends” or “Emotional Support Snack Thief,” this combo lets your mutt strut their personality—and your sense of humor.
What’s in the bundle:
- Custom 4-Lines Text Patch
- Say it loud, say it proud—your patch, your words. Choose from a variety of fonts, colors, and layouts. Up to 18 characters per line across 4 lines. You tweak it in the live preview, we print it just like that. No surprises. No regrets. Unless you wanted a typo.
PawPatch Track Harness
- The harness that does more than hold your dog back—it puts them on the map (literally).
- Velcro®-compatible patch area for easy swaps
- Built-in Apple AirTag pocket to track your floof
- No-pull, adjustable fit for all-day comfort
- Reflective details for after-dark sniff missions
Perfect for gifting, clever quotes, casual flexing, or just making your dog the funniest one on the block.
Go ahead—give your dog a voice. Just make it a funny one.
Harness The Beast:
Your dog’s got personality—and possibly poor impulse control. Enter the PawPatch Track Harness, your new best friend’s new best gear.
This isn’t some generic big-box harness. It’s a customizable, trackable, no-escape, look-good-do-good piece of pup tech. Built with comfort and control in mind, it features:
- A Velcro®-compatible patch zone for swapping out messages as often as your mood changes
- A built-in AirTag pocket, so you can track your fur missile if they pull a backyard jailbreak
- No-pull fit that keeps your arm in its socket during “Squirrel!” moments
- Fully adjustable straps for a dialed-in fit (no awkward belly sag or shoulder squeeze)
- Breathable padding + reflective accents to keep your dog comfy and visible—day or night
Whether you're on a trail, the sidewalk, or a patio where your dog thinks everyone came to meet them, this harness handles the hype with swagger and smarts.
Because let’s be honest—your dog’s not basic. Their gear shouldn’t be either.
Four lines. One patch. Endless ways to get a laugh, make a point, or leave strangers confused (in a good way).
This isn’t some pre-made “Good Dog” nonsense. This is your message, your way—loud, proud, and Velcro®-ready.
Here’s what you’re working with:
- Up to 4 lines of text, 18 characters each (yep, spaces count—so plan that punchline wisely)
- Choose from a lineup of fonts, sizes, and colors to dial in the vibe—loud and bold or dry and deadpan
- Live preview shows you exactly what you’re getting—no guesswork, no "oops"
- Printed on a 3” x 2” patch, designed to turn heads and start conversations (or awkward chuckles)
Perfect for dog personalities ranging from “Nap Professional” to “Certified Trash Inspector,” wedding party shenanigans, or just flexing your wit on every walk.
Because let’s face it—if your dog’s not saying something funny, you’re wasting real estate.
📦 Bulk Orders Welcome
Custom patches for events, weddings, work crews, bachelor parties, or inside jokes that deserve to live forever? We’ve got bulk discounts—just shoot us a message.
🧼 Patch Care Tips
- Storage: Store back-to-back (rough side to rough side) to avoid snags
- Washing: Cold wash, air dry—no heat, no iron, no fabric softener
- Longevity: Treat 'em right, and they’ll outlast your favorite hat
Shipping Notes
- Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
- Except Preorder products are shipped in 48 hours.
- Delivery to the USA:
- Standard Shipping : 3-10 business days
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Exchange/Return Notes
- We offer a 30-day return/exchange service after receiving.
- Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
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4.3 ★★★★★
Based on 1430 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Five Stars
Format: Paperback
Brilliant, lucid, engaging and brave, a feminist chthonic journey shimmering with poetic bravado.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2014
★★★★★ 5
A Feminist Divine Comedy?
Format: Paperback
Let me start with this: The Descent of Alette is difficult to read at first. Notley "puts quotation marks around" "groups of words" "in lines" "that can be off-putting." Note that I'm not quoting from the book there, just giving an example of what the book's text appears like. This forces us to read more slowly, taking in each line a few words at a time. What appears to be awkward is in fact a great solution to the speed-reading most of us do these days. That being said, it's troublesome for the first few poems, less so after that, virtually invisible by the end of the first section.
When talking about this book, I immediately compare it to Dante's Divine Comedy, and I commonly see others do the same (see an earlier review here on Amazon.com). Exchange Hell for a subway, and you've basically got it: an underground realm ruled over by a Tyrant, poor souls being tortured, though in this case there is no indication that they have done anything to deserve it. Notley's language might not be quite as beautiful/harsh as Dante's, but her images stand with anything he created. After introducing two characters on a subway, a woman and her baby, both on fire, Notley writes:
"another woman" "in uniform" "from above ground"
"entered" "the train" "She was fireproof" "she wore gloves, & she"
"took" "the baby" "took the baby" "away from the"
"mother" "Extracted" "the burning baby" "From the fire" "they
made together" "But the baby" "still burned"
("But not yours" "It didn't happen" "to you")
"We don't know yet" "if it will" "stop burning,"
"said the uniformed" "woman" "The burning woman" "was crying"
"she made a form" "in her mind" "an imaginary" "form" "to
settle" "in her arms where" "the baby" "had been" "We saw
her fiery arms" "cradle the air" "She cradled air" ("They take your
children" "away" "if you"re on fire")
"In the air that" "she cradled" "it seemed to us there" "floated"
"a flower-like" "a red flower" "its petals" "curling flames"
"She cradled" "seemed to cradle" "the burning flower of" "herself gone"
"her life" ("She saw" "whatever she saw, but what we saw" "was that flower")
After surviving the horrors of the subway, Alette goes even deeper underground, passing through a series of psychological challenges that at times seem straight out of Freud, at times out of Classical mythology, at times out of collective dreams. Throughout it all, we learn more and more about Alette, who is not just a "hero" who goes through the motions necessary to the plot, but who considers and stumbles and is confused and learns.
The third section of the book is a rebirth, wherein Alette finds a source for a stronger power than the Tyrant's, and it is distinctly feminist in its nature. I need to note here for those who react to feminism in a knee-jerk way: Notley's feminism is not a militant feminism, though it requires brief "military" action on Alette's part. Men are helpful in the story, have purpose besides being the bad guy. If anything, what Notley attacks in the form of the Tyrant is the idea of a corrupt masculinity, a kind of Big Brother who would easily stand as an antagonist in any number of 20th/21st century literary works. Alette's feminism is the discovery of her place in the world, and that place is not slaving away mindlessly for the Tyrant, not acting as just a womb or pair of hands or pretty face. It's a nuanced message, despite the epic (and therefore presumably black-and-white) nature of the whole book.
The fourth section is the showdown with the Tyrant, a great deal of philosophizing, and an ending that I actually find more satisfying than that of Paradiso. I won't spoil it here, but it just works extremely well in conjunction with the themes of Descent as a whole.
If you want to be challenged, if you want to think deep thoughts, if you want surreality and magic, pick up The Descent of Alette. For even more interesting reading from the author and her partner, you could also turn to The Scarlet Cabinet, which contains but actually predates the on-its-own publication of Descent.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 11, 2010
★★★★★ 5
A Contemporary Epic
Format: Paperback
I have a complicated relationship with most of the books I've read by Alice Notley. I admire her facility with the lyric, her ability to get just beneath a concept or sentiment using a very talk-y style so that I always feel like I'm with whatever speaker she's using, inside that mind and her mind all at once. This is a good kind of complication. It's one I yearn for with poems.
The unpleasant complications are when I feel as though I'm just being subjected to her unedited notebook entries. Too much, too much, too much. It comes up especially with her book Mysteries of Small Houses.
I mention these difficulties only to sharpen the accomplishment of The Descent of Alette. Like other reviewers, I feel the tonal similarities to Dante's Inferno. Which becomes a subversive allusion considering Alette seeks after a male Tyrant in order to destroy him, while Dante sought after his Beatrice out of desire. But I read and reread Alette, because Notley continually subverts patriarchal conventions in the book.
I actually find I crave the speaker's intellect, and the mythic logic that gives the book its arc. I want it more. Yes, there are quotations around each fragment in the poems. I actually appreciate them for slowing my reading down, and for sharpening my focus on the use of Notley's language. And it's not just a stylistic tic, or something to be endured. It could actually be described as further subversion of The Tyrant Alette pursues.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2011
★★★★★ 2
Imagery and diction
Format: Paperback
This book was very challenging to read because everything was written in quotations however, it was intriguing as a different way of writing poetry.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2020
★★★★★ 5
I tend to leave most books in this genre disappointed. I miss the classics
Format: Hardcover
I bought this book after hearing Stacey Lee speak about narrative tension at a lecture for YA writers - the talk was specifically entitled, "How to keep them up all night." The lecture (alongside Anna Shinoda) bit off a rather large amount of material. Neither woman mentioned vampires. The methods they discussed were smart, creative, and delivered with just enough humor to leave me wondering whether I'd be able to put their debut novels down.
I devoured GONE WITH THE WIND at least six times cover to cover between my sophomore and senior year. While I am more susceptible to the Historical Fiction page turner than the average girl, I tend to leave most books in this genre disappointed. I miss the classics. I opened this book determined to not judge it by its gorgeous pastel cover. I started slowly. I enjoyed the first four or five chapters - leaving each fully appreciative of Lee's craft. I particularly enjoyed her ability to pepper humor though tragedy. I often complain about writers who miss the mark here. Stacey Lee nailed that important believable balance for me. I liked her characters quickly. I left each chapter satisfied, but thoroughly able to get up and go on with my life. Like a jaded Thumper in Walt Disney's BAMBI, this book was more than nice, but I wasn't susceptible to any kind of teen-aged Twitterpation over it. After the sixth or seventh chapter - four or five days after I first picked it up, I quietly closed my copy, placed it on my nightstand, switched off my lamp, fluffed my pillow and turned over. I turned over again. I flipped on the light - OK, just one more chapter... I zombie sleepwalked to work the next day. That night I retired early, making some completely convincing excuse about being exhausted. I was certainly too tired to read. Flash forward to 6AM when I woke up with this novel on my face. I turned it's last page this afternoon, fully satisfied. I am truly sad it's over. This book transported me. It's one I'll want to have in my collection forever, alongside the beautiful books that mattered to me as a teen; JANE EYRE, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, UNDER A PAINTED SKY. Classic in feel, subject matter, and voice - but modern in approach, I'd be as comfortable recommending it to my book club as I would handing it to any teen. Readers of all ages and walks of life will surely find something that resonates with their own stories too. As for me, I am sure I'll be back on the trail with these girls-- I mean boys, before long.
Now I'm off to try my hand at Anna Shinoda's LEARNING NOT TO DROWN. Well, maybe tomorrow. I need a good night's sleep and it's clear these authors know how to keep those pages turning.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 24, 2015